


drape me in your warmth

by growlery writes (growlery)



Series: i wanna make you feel how i feel when i'm listening to love songs [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Mental Health Issues, advancing the bellamy/raven/miller agenda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 11:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12652701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery%20writes
Summary: Raven can't sleep.





	drape me in your warmth

**Author's Note:**

> posting this for day one of the [braven appreciation week 2017](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/bravenaw17), prompt: angst. it's a coda to [coax the cold out of me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6739162), but it should stand alone.

Raven can't sleep. Bellamy is snoring gently next to her, and Raven hates herself for resenting him, for finding sleep so easily, for not being here when she needs him. Selfish. Needy. A fucking shitty girlfriend. Raven hates herself. 

She's tired of hating herself staring at Bellamy's plain walls and the endless stream of misery on Twitter, though, so she drags herself up, fetches her brace and her laptop, and goes to sit in Bellamy and Miller's kitchen. She makes herself a pot of coffee, brings up Netflix on her laptop, puts on something to keep her mind busy, keeps the volume low so she doesn't wake anyone up. 

Despite her best efforts, it's not long before the door opens and Miller trudges in, looking as exhausted as she feels. Raven feels abruptly guilty for disturbing him, an intruder in his home, then just as quickly notices he's holding his own laptop. 

“There's fresh coffee in the pot,” she tells him, and he makes a grateful face as he squeezes past her to get it. She pats his elbow, a token gesture of affection, but it still makes her heart feel less like stone. “Paper due today?”

“Paper due today,” he confirms, glum. More than glum, really. Bellamy's worried about him, worried about the toll school is taking on him. Raven worries too, but Miller isn't hers the way he's Bellamy's; she's not sure she has a right. “Insomnia?”

“Insomnia,” she says, and Miller's sympathetic face is too much for her stone heart. She shrugs. 

Miller pulls a chair around once he's poured himself some coffee and they sit and make fun of Daredevil for the next few hours. It's nice. Raven still wishes she was sleeping, still longs for sweet oblivion, but it's nice. 

Bellamy's teaching an early morning class, and they're still there when he gets up, sitting companionably at the kitchen table. He blinks at them, but doesn't say anything, just starts making them all breakfast. He squeezes Raven's shoulder on his way past her and she tenses up, still stony, but a second later she relaxes into it, exhaling out through the cracks. 

“Please tell me you didn't stay up all night,” Bellamy says, as they eat breakfast. 

“I only got up a little while ago,” Miller says. “I had to be up early to hand in my paper.”

Raven glances at him; it's a lie, but it's a white lie, and she thinks she understands. 

“And I had insomnia,” Raven says, swiftly drawing Bellamy's worried frown. “It was better than staying in bed, you snore so fucking loud.”

“I do not,” Bellamy says, outraged, and Raven smiles for the first time that day. 

“You really fucking do, man,” Miller says, “I can hear it through the wall.”

He grins at Raven, conspiratorial, but when Raven catches his eyes she thinks he looks grateful, too. She winks at him. 

“This is bullying,” Bellamy says, but he's grinning too. Raven leans into his side like she can soak up his happiness, take it for herself, and he instinctively wraps an arm around her, kisses the top of her head. “You should have woken me,” he says to her, all gentle, no reproach. Raven turns her head into his neck and breathes. 

“Not when you’re teaching at 8am,” she says, and he says, “Even then,” and Raven says, “Sure, okay,” and Bellamy sighs, gently, like he knows she’s lying. 

“You need to leave, like, now,” Miller says, glancing at his phone. “I’ll head down with you. Might as well get this over with.”

Raven feels Bellamy tense for a second, rigid with worry, then feels him make himself relax, smile at Miller. “You worked really hard,” he says. “I’m sure you did great.”

Miller smiles back at him, says, “Thanks.”

“You gonna try and get some sleep, Raven?” Bellamy asks, still gentle, no reproach. 

“Nah,” Raven says, even though she’s exhausted, and a few hours in bed before her class at ten sounds amazing right now. It’d be in Bellamy’s bed, without Bellamy there, without Miller in the apartment, even, and Raven just- can’t. “The gym’s calling my name, and if I get there this early, I won’t have to fight anyone for the equipment.”

“Fair enough,” Bellamy says, but Raven knows he tensed just like he did for Miller, hates it, hates him, hates herself.


End file.
